so i live next to a giant ass pool (ruining a swim meet cont

by **xpheenyx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:03 am

i live right next to this big ass motherfuckin' pool. it's olympic size and shit. Scottsboro could have potentially held olympic trials here but the city didnt have enough money to dig the pool as deep as it needed to be even though the deep end is like 24 feet...

point of the story, the god damn swim meets at this thing are ridiculous. the facility hardly has enough parking, so people think that it's alright to park out in front of my private residence like i don't give a fuck... this happened yesterday, and when i got off from work, to my surprise i couldn't get into my own fucking driveway because of the line of full size SUV's in front of my house, and people were walking through my yard like they owned it.

i was thinking of what i could fucking do just to ruin these people's day.... then i thought about it... and all these swim meets lead up to one tri county, fucking beyond massive event. literally there were 6,000 people directly next to my house last year....

here's the plan. find out when the tri-county swim meet thing is. then the night before sneak into the facility (this is a whole lot easier than it seems, i do it a lot to swim for free, you just pull up the fence and crawl under and walk inside the giant ass wall they take down in the summer) and then i'm gonna take some laxatives and take a massive shit in that motherfucker. because then they can't swim... potentially for days because the pool is so giant, bacteria would be everywhere and they'd have to drain it and all that good shit.

what do you think b9? worth it? i think so.

by **Beer Farts** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:04 am

do it

by **xpheenyx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:10 am

dick hamper wrote:do it

glad i have your support.

Website · by **Tell 'Em Steve Dave** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:11 am

dick hamper wrote:do it

by **Beer Farts** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:12 am

either that of buy about 3 dozen live crabs and release them

by **Fuck off.** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:13 am

Or you could have got their SUVs towed, but pooping is a good idea too.

by **xpheenyx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:15 am

hell0 wrote:Or you could have got their SUVs towed, but pooping is a good idea too.

that's the great thing.... ive tried this, but seriously the only people that give a fuck is the people whos car just got towed..... ive literally seen someone sitting there waiting for a car to be towed so they could park up in my shit. honestly these swimming faggots don't give a fuck.

by **Armstrong Dicksmasher** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:15 am

hell0 wrote:Or you could have got their SUVs towed, but pooping is a good idea too.

Why not be a genius and do BOTH? That will surely fuck their shit up.

by **xpheenyx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:16 am

dick hamper wrote:either that of buy about 3 dozen live crabs and release them

thought about this. the crabs would die if they got into the water, and i'm not down for killin' animals homie. :smt010

by **Matt Even** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:17 am

I fully back dropping a dook in the pool.

by **Beer Farts** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:19 am

xpheenyx wrote:
dick hamper wrote:either that of buy about 3 dozen live crabs and release them

thought about this. the crabs would die if they got into the water, and i'm not down for killin' animals homie.

so to your pet store and buy frozen dead mice. they'll enjoy them

by **Armstrong Dicksmasher** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:19 am

xpheenyx wrote:
hell0 wrote:Or you could have got their SUVs towed, but pooping is a good idea too.

that's the great thing.... ive tried this, but seriously the only people that give a fuck is the people whos car just got towed..... ive literally seen someone sitting there waiting for a car to be towed so they could park up in my shit. honestly these swimming faggots don't give a fuck.

Put up a really big fucking sign with a warning and maybe put those orange cones around the space they park.

by **Fuck off.** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:19 am

Somehow save all your piss, jizz and poop from now until then. Then release that into the pool.

by **justinmilwaukee** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:20 am

definitely shit in the pool

by **aaronxvx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:21 am

I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

by **DILLON!** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:25 am

aaronxvx wrote:I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

by **Beer Farts** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:25 am

you need to get crabs, mice, shit, piss, jizz, and the blood of 13 virgins

by **jasperscalpelthrow** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:25 am

Just chill outside your house like this guy:

by **dudeman** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:29 am

find the ugliest hooker in town and tell she is needed for a pool gangbang. get her to wait in the pool naked until all the customers show up.

by **blackapache** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:29 am

Shit on the diving board. Recruit a few friends to plant strategic doogs around the pool.

by **Party Foul** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:29 am

money says you shit yourself while ducking under the fence... now that would be a story

"tried to ruin this tri-county swim meet, accidentally shit my pants"

Website · by **theonefreeman** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:32 am

Shitting seems like a great idea. I'd say that you should start building up a massive stockpile of dook right now and save it for the next meet. It would suck if there you were, squatting with your ass hanging over the pool and you're doing the Hershey-squirts all over the place, when all of a sudden security arrives. You take off for your house, unknowing to the fact that you're leaving a trail of doodoo butter straight to you. Then they'd know where you live. What would you do then?

FOR YOUR HEALTH

by **eeric** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:34 am

thread sent to head lifeguard

by **IamTravis** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:37 am

you wont do anything

by **JERSEYJRS** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:37 am

in hopes of some funny shit happening in a few months time

by **David and Keith** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:40 am

dick hamper wrote:you need to get crabs, mice, shit, piss, jizz, and the blood of 13 virgins

by **the Walking Dead** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:41 am

Somehow try and give yourself diarreha and than shit in the pool. No motherfuckers will be going in there.

by **xbradicalx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:43 am

I can't park and people walk on my lawn
:smt022

by **HeinousJoe** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:44 am

Shit in the pool
And on the suv's

by **TRAV** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:46 am

If you're gonna take laxatives and shit in the pool, then you might as well get real fancy and drink some ipecac too, and throw the fuck up in there with your shit.

by **eeric** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:51 am

xbradicalx wrote::smt022
I can't park and people walk on my lawn

by **f-ass45** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:59 am

Why in the pool? Why not around the pool, then the smell and the run off from the diarea will be stuck in the grass.

I also like something with jello.

Website · by **Tell 'Em Steve Dave** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:11 am

eat a bunch of taco bell. those shits would have that pool closed down for weeks.

Website · by **CycoFishHead** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:17 am

xbradicalx wrote::smt022
I can't park and people walk on my lawn

People complain about much stupider shit on here all the time.

"Someone asked me a stupid question at my job. :smt013

"

by **xbradicalx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:20 am

but i'm sure most of those people deal with it like adults.

Website · by **peteXnasty** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:22 am

Id be heated if I owned property and strangers just treated it like public land over something as dumb as a stupid swimming pool. Doubly so if they blocked my car in my driveway. What if I need to work?

Contaminate the fuck out of the pool and just sit outside with a cell phone towing every car that parks illegally.

by **aaronxvx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:25 am

DILLON! wrote:
aaronxvx wrote:I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

..what don't you understand?

by **cobralucha** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:26 am

As a lifeguard I have some serious info on the subject.

You MUST make sure the poop is liquid. A solid turd get scooped up, chlorine gets cranked and in 20-40 minutes all is well. Diarrhea involves not only skimming the gunk out but the Chlorine needs to be cranked for anywhere from 12-36 HOURS before people can get back in.

Good luck homie.

by **Doug_LongIsland** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:30 am

This has awesome fucking potential.

by **cobralucha** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:31 am

aaronxvx wrote:
DILLON! wrote:
aaronxvx wrote:I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

..what don't you understand?

Look at my post above this. I manage a pool. Pee is mostly sterile and involves no serious clean up. Chlorine is really only for keeping algae and stuff out of the pool and for sanitizing the microscopic amounts of poop/sweat/vomit that people bring into the pool on their skin/ clothes/ hair. A big diarrhea turd is no match for the little chlorine molecules.

by **xchocolatesensationx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:33 am

cobralucha wrote:As a lifeguard I have some serious info on the subject.

You MUST make sure the poop is liquid. A solid turd get scooped up, chlorine gets cranked and in 20-40 minutes all is well. Diarrhea involves not only skimming the gunk out but the Chlorine needs to be cranked for anywhere from 12-36 HOURS before people can get back in.

Good luck homie.

i can honestly tell you from lifeguarding so long that this is the best way to go.

by **Armstrong Dicksmasher** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:34 am

cobralucha wrote:As a lifeguard I have some serious info on the subject.

You MUST make sure the poop is liquid. A solid turd get scooped up, chlorine gets cranked and in 20-40 minutes all is well. Diarrhea involves not only skimming the gunk out but the Chlorine needs to be cranked for anywhere from 12-36 HOURS before people can get back in.

Good luck homie.

Holy shit! Dropping the pool knowledge on this thread :smt028

by **the Drip** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:38 am

My friends condo has a pool, and I was over there sipping a beer when the resident pool narc flipped out and said "please get that glass bottle out of here, if it breaks in the pool, we have to drain it according to state law"
So smash some beer bottles and dump the glass in the deep end, problem solved

by **jimmieXXX** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:39 am

throw a baby ruth in the pool

and it should clear everyone out , unless caddyshack was lying

by **sickpeople** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:41 am

im sure it sucks to have all those dickheads parking in front of your house
but you will ruin a bunch of little kids' summers by fucking with the pool.
tough decision.

by **aaronxvx** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:46 am

cobralucha wrote:
aaronxvx wrote:
DILLON! wrote:
aaronxvx wrote:I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

..what don't you understand?

Look at my post above this. I manage a pool. Pee is mostly sterile and involves no serious clean up. Chlorine is really only for keeping algae and stuff out of the pool and for sanitizing the microscopic amounts of poop/sweat/vomit that people bring into the pool on their skin/ clothes/ hair. A big diarrhea turd is no match for the little chlorine molecules.

Ah I didn't see that.

Carry on as normal..

by **American Vultures** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:47 am

absolutely do it

by ky » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:47 am

if i remember correctly, not that many people show up to that meet. definitely not 6,000 people.

by **heartskull** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:47 am

this was all i could picture while reading this. also, great idea. i back the hoarding the bodily fluids idea, as well as the induced vomiting into the pool.

by **Armstrong Dicksmasher** » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:49 am

Here is something potentially worse than shit, what if you bought a bucket of fish from a market and just let it ferment into some sort of abomination unto the senses and then tipped the bucket into the pool?

so i live next to a giant ass pool (ruining a swim meet cont

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