This will eventually be thread where everyone can discuss their leagues, ask for start/sit advice, whine about how Toby Gerhart went off for 146 yards and two TDs on their bench while Arian Foster tore his ACL on the second play of the game. All that good stuff.
But for right now this is mainly going to concern the esteemed J.P. LOSMAN MEMORIAL LEAGUE.
So, here's where we're at:
DURKA DURKA JIHAD is out, Mayo is out. That leaves us with a 10-team league, and I will not play in some broke-ass 10-team league so I'm in need of two more of you slapnuts' to do this. I thought about picking names out of a hat or doing some such fair thing, but where's the fun in that? What I'm going to do instead is this: I'm going to make up a questionnaire, and the two entrants that have the best answers get the spots in the league. Anyone opposed? Didn't think so.
Here's the questionnaire:
1) Name. Include any aliases or nicknames you didn't want that you were given anyhow.
2) Favorite football team.
3) Player you'd most like to send hopped up on goofballs into the Octagon against Anderson Silva and Junior Dos Santos. At once. Elaboration is required.
4) One paragraph on what exactly you think Joey Harrington is doing right this very moment.
5) Creamy or crunchy peanut butter?
6) Pulp, or no pulp?
7) The name of the ugliest girl you've ever had sexual relations with, in jumble form like that game in the Sunday paper.
Why would I assume you're not going to be some shithead flake who I will have to chase down for dues money ($20) or email multiple times this season with a reminder to set your fucking lineups? AKA The Chirpin Hard Statute.9) One-paragraph answer on what went through Ben Roethlisberger's mind as he was selecting the fedora for purchase that he would wear to his post-rape press conference.
10) Where in your town can I find the best Gin & Tonics and Old-Fashioneds?
Yes, you have to answer all of these. Entirely. If you come back with some one-sentence answer when I said I want a paragraph, your submission goes into the figurative paper shredder that I don't actually have.
Yes, you have to post your answers in this thread. If any of your answers are embarrassing (namely no's 5 and 6) I want everyone to know.
You have until Tuesday, July 3 at 5. P.M. to submit this. If you are so much as a minute late, your entry will not be read. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Good luck, and lemmy speed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Orders of business for people already in the Losman League. Please vote on these three ASAP. That doesn't mean 'read this now, try to remember to vote later,' it means fucking ASAP.
1) TYPE OF DRAFT -- Every year we go through this, every year we get the same answer. Here we are again, like Alzheimer's patients. Do you want to do a normal/snake draft as we've done years past, or an auction draft? PLEASE keep in mind that with an auction draft, everyone needs to be there. Everyone. No exceptions. We span three time zones and who knows how many work schedules, so know that it would be almost impossible to ensure everyone is there for the entire draft.
2) FLEX POSITION -- For the last couple years we've gone with the routine WR/RB flex. Several people have informed me they'd like to add a TE to that. So we'd have one WR/RB/TE flex position, in addition to a TE-specific position.
I think it's wildly unnecessary because there's less than 10 TEs worth having and there will be 12 of us, but I said I'd put it up for vote so here we are.
3) PPR OR STANDARD SCORING -- We've done two years with standard scoring. In the first, I fucked up and inflated the QB scoring so that skewed things a bit, but last year that was fixed and I think the scoring was completely fine. I'm not opposed to PPR, but it's got to go up for a vote anyhow.
Other important items of business (money collection, draft date, divisions, ect) will be touched on once we get these other two people into the league. Those people will also be voting on these three things when they get in.
Any questions/comments/slander of the NY Jets, let me know.
- El Commissario
