Weird shit your past significant others did.

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Postby taylorm » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:41 am

Everybody has had an ex who had weird behaviors, nervous habits, etc. Post yours.

I dated a girl when I moved for college who claimed she was physically incapable of burping. Sometimes, when she'd fall asleep with her head in my lap, I would hear strange gurgling coming from her neck/torso. If she lied about it, that's weird. If she was telling the truth, that's still weird.

I dated a girl for 4 years who was deathly afraid of sharks... despite never interacting with one, or being in the water with one. We were inside of a Blockbuster video and they were playing some shark documentary on one of their display televisions, I see her making a beeline toward me super red-faced with tears running down her face. She collapses in my arms and starts full-on sobbing. :smt017

She's now married and works for a marketing firm in LA. I often wonder if her husband still has to deal with the stupid shit I did.
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Postby DAYMAN » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:06 am

In her 20s and showered with her older sister
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Postby HOTDOGS_COMINURWAY » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:09 am

i dated a girl who actually farted once. guh-roooooooss :smt118
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Postby taylorm » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:12 am

HOTDOGS_COMINURWAY wrote:i dated a girl who actually farted once. guh-roooooooss :smt118

Image
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Postby Booty Telegram » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:18 am

nerd eater wrote:In her 20s and showered with her older sister

:smt016
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:19 am

nerd eater wrote:In her 20s and showered with her older sister

this is weird shit they did, not what's the best thing they ever did
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Postby Lil Meatsauce » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:30 am

captainsunshine wrote:
nerd eater wrote:In her 20s and showered with her older sister

this is weird shit they did, not what's the best thing they ever did


tell us more nerd eater....type slowly...take your time...
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Postby HOTDOGS_COMINURWAY » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:36 am

Lil Meatsauce wrote:
captainsunshine wrote:
nerd eater wrote:In her 20s and showered with her older sister

this is weird shit they did, not what's the best thing they ever did


tell us more nerd eater....type slowly...take your time...
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Postby jesper » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:36 am

this thread
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Postby xXxBretWeedxXx » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:39 am

nerd eater's ex wrote:dude never got in the shower with my sister and i
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Postby wegotdome » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:47 am

Lil Meatsauce wrote:
captainsunshine wrote:
nerd eater wrote:In her 20s and showered with her older sister

this is weird shit they did, not what's the best thing they ever did


tell us more nerd eater....type slowly...take your time...


We're gonna need some details here, you know strictly for record keeping purposes...
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Postby lajoie » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:53 am

xXxBretWeedxXx wrote:
nerd eater's ex wrote:dude never got in the shower with my sister and i


:smt005
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Postby DAYMAN » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:54 am

lajoie wrote:
xXxBretWeedxXx wrote:
nerd eater's ex wrote:dude never got in the shower with my sister and i


:smt005

true
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Postby iamcomo » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:35 am

girl would let me jizz inside and let it all leak out on the sheets and just sleep in it
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Postby lajoie » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:50 am

iamcomo wrote:girl would let me jizz inside and let it all leak out on the sheets and just sleep in it


That's how babies get made.
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Postby macho insecurity » Thu Jun 14, 2018 11:54 am

iamcomo wrote:girl would let me jizz inside and let it all leak out on the sheets and just sleep in it

wow crazy
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Postby Roofies Pizza » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:01 pm

Girl who would talk in baby talk randomly, but it sounded like Marg Simpsons as a baby, and I walkways thought it was weird but it was intentional when she was drunk. Then once day she was sober and doin it, so I brought it up and she's all "what the fuck are you talking about?". She had to idea she was even doing it. Completely unaware. It kinda scared me.
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Postby wegotdome » Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:50 pm

iamcomo wrote:girl would let me jizz inside and let it all leak out on the sheets and just sleep in it


Isn't this normal behavior? Maybe every girl I've dated was a weirdo
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Postby taylorm » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:12 pm

Usually a girl will at least get up, do a crab walk to the bathroom and mop some of it up with Kleenex or something. That's my understanding, at least.

She should be heading to the bathroom anyway since, realistically, everybody should be pissing shortly after sex.
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Postby capeside » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:15 pm

Sucked someone else's dick
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Postby Roofies Pizza » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:16 pm

shithead wrote:Usually a girl will at least get up, do a crab walk to the bathroom and mop some of it up with Kleenex or something. That's my understanding, at least.

She should be heading to the bathroom anyway since, realistically, everybody should be pissing shortly after sex.


If girls don't pee after sex they get infections. So its has to happen. Letting your shit leak all over the bed is nasty.
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Postby HOTDOGS_COMINURWAY » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:19 pm

we need a girl itt to set the record straight
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:22 pm

so what happened in that shower
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Postby Roofies Pizza » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:22 pm

HOTDOGS_COMINURWAY wrote:we need a girl itt to set the record straight


Start making fun of Toby Morse and Jesse will immediately show up.
Last edited by Roofies Pizza on Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby DAYMAN » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:22 pm

captainsunshine wrote:so what happened in that shower

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Postby macho insecurity » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:33 pm

shithead wrote:Usually a girl will at least get up, do a crab walk to the bathroom and mop some of it up with Kleenex or something. That's my understanding, at least.

She should be heading to the bathroom anyway since, realistically, everybody should be pissing shortly after sex.

i'm imagining a woman crabwalking down the stairs a la Exorcist.
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Postby blackhawks#1 » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:48 pm

wegotdome wrote:
iamcomo wrote:girl would let me jizz inside and let it all leak out on the sheets and just sleep in it


Isn't this normal behavior? Maybe every girl I've dated was a weirdo

no. that's nasty.
women are prone to getting urinary tract infections if they don't pee after sex
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Postby Bob Loblaw » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:52 pm

Posting to find out about that shower
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Postby HOTDOGS_COMINURWAY » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:53 pm

pffft, you dont know
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Postby wegotdome » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:53 pm

I'm very stupid, just saying
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Postby HOTDOGS_COMINURWAY » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:53 pm

nah, ive definitely experienced this too. but im also very stupid
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Postby pata_negra » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:58 pm

Dated a guy briefly that was a huge Dream Theater fan and he insisted on putting on Dream Theater every time we were shagging.
It didn't last long.
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Postby Worship » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:01 pm

was addicted to FloNase. like, legit addicted
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:11 pm

sniff sniff
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Postby wegotdome » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:12 pm

pata_negra wrote:Dated a guy briefly that was a huge Dream Theater fan and he insisted on putting on Dream Theater every time we were shagging.
It didn't last long.


That sounds absolutely terrible
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Postby Worship » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:15 pm

not sure i can think of something that would make my dick softer than dream theater
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Postby blackhawks#1 » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:16 pm

Don't meet guys in Guitar Center
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Postby taylorm » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:16 pm

Worship wrote:not sure i can think of something that would make my dick softer than dream theater

Oh yeah?

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Postby shadysands » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:16 pm

I was the weird one. I'm deathly afraid of sharks... despite never interacting with one, or being in the water with one. We were inside of a Blockbuster video and they were playing some shark documentary on one of their display televisions, I beelined toward my ex super red-faced with tears running down my face. :smt086 :smt086 :smt086
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Postby Worship » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:17 pm

shithead wrote:
Worship wrote:not sure i can think of something that would make my dick softer than dream theater

Oh yeah?


dont do this
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:17 pm

shadysands wrote:I was the weird one. I'm deathly afraid of sharks... despite never interacting with one, or being in the water with one. We were inside of a Blockbuster video and they were playing some shark documentary on one of their display televisions, I beelined toward my ex super red-faced with tears running down my face. :smt086 :smt086 :smt086

:smt005
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Postby taylorm » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:18 pm

shadysands wrote:I was the weird one. I'm deathly afraid of sharks... despite never interacting with one, or being in the water with one. We were inside of a Blockbuster video and they were playing some shark documentary on one of their display televisions, I beelined toward my ex super red-faced with tears running down my face. :smt086 :smt086 :smt086

Come back to me, babe.
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Postby pata_negra » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:28 pm

blackhawks#1 wrote:Don't meet guys in Guitar Center

He was a drummer.
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Postby blackhawks#1 » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:30 pm

Don't meet guys in comic book stores during D&D night ?
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Postby DAYMAN » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:36 pm

For the record, I like D&D and hate Dream Theater
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Postby xXxBretWeedxXx » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:36 pm

shithead wrote:Usually a girl will at least get up, do a crab walk to the bathroom and mop some of it up with Kleenex or something. That's my understanding, at least.

She should be heading to the bathroom anyway since, realistically, everybody should be pissing shortly after sex.


if they crab walk to the bathroom full of spooge they're for sure leaving a snail trail. You must date some real idiots.
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Postby blackhawks#1 » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:38 pm

nerd eater wrote:For the record, I like D&D and hate Dream Theater

yeah those are the only two stereotypes i could come up with.

my last ex sniffs his fingertips when he's drunk and trying to listen to someone talk to him. it's weird and kind of gross.
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Postby xXxBretWeedxXx » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:40 pm

I once worked with a dude who would always talk to me about Dream Theater during break time. His brother in law also worked there and told the craziest tall tales ever like being trained in Jeet Kune Do by Brandon Lee before he died type of shit. He had a Taz tattoo.

Moral of the story: I don't know but Dream Theater sucks ass.
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Postby taylorm » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:41 pm

xXxBretWeedxXx wrote:
shithead wrote:Usually a girl will at least get up, do a crab walk to the bathroom and mop some of it up with Kleenex or something. That's my understanding, at least.

She should be heading to the bathroom anyway since, realistically, everybody should be pissing shortly after sex.


if they crab walk to the bathroom full of spooge they're for sure leaving a snail trail. You must date some real idiots.

Can't tell if this is directed towards me or the guy saying his ex just leaked jizz everywhere in bed.

Either way, if you seriously think a girl is SO FILLED TO THE BRIM with jizz that she's literally leaving a breadcrumb trail of thicc milky loads behind her like this is Hansel & Gretel or something, I'd question whether or not you've ever so much as touched a tit before.
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Postby iamcomo » Thu Jun 14, 2018 2:43 pm

shithead wrote:
xXxBretWeedxXx wrote:
shithead wrote:Usually a girl will at least get up, do a crab walk to the bathroom and mop some of it up with Kleenex or something. That's my understanding, at least.

She should be heading to the bathroom anyway since, realistically, everybody should be pissing shortly after sex.


if they crab walk to the bathroom full of spooge they're for sure leaving a snail trail. You must date some real idiots.

Can't tell if this is directed towards me or the guy saying his ex just leaked jizz everywhere in bed.

Either way, if you seriously think a girl is SO FILLED TO THE BRIM with jizz that she's literally leaving a breadcrumb trail of thicc milky loads behind her like this is Hansel & Gretel or something, I'd question whether or not you've ever so much as touched a tit before.


I mean, it didn't last long and splooging inside a girl was cool
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