Craziest thing you have done to your significant other?

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Postby bluebyyou » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:34 pm

Or vice versa.

This could be interesting, mental outbursts? Obscure sex? Whatever.
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Postby taylorm » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:37 pm

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Postby Fester » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:42 pm

Shit on her dick
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Postby BobbyxBrother » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:44 pm

For my birthday last month, she got us a bungalow at a safari where we could hear the lions, tigers, elephants, and every other animal going batshit crazy in the middle of the night. Then the next morning, elephants brought us breakfast.

Then we drove 3 hours south and stayed in a little town with the best dinner I've ever had and went sky diving the next day.

Maybe not "crazy," but it was fucking cool, and definitely the coolest thing anyone has ever done for me.


Edit: This says "to" not "for," my bad on the subtle brag.
Last edited by BobbyxBrother on Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby macho insecurity » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:44 pm

cheated on her like she was my father
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:45 pm

where was this at
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:45 pm

why do NFL players smoke weed if there are rules? wrote:cheated on her like she was my father

hell yeah
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Postby taylorm » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:47 pm

captainsunshine wrote:where was this at

Detroit.
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Postby andydansby » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:54 pm

Hid her keys inside my bungalow during a fight
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Postby taylorm » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:55 pm

Checked on her dick game.
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Postby rowdiedondown » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:57 pm

I literally just posted dick game in another thread without seeing last post. ~*synchronicity rising*~
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Postby Avoidance Learning » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:58 pm

peed on her feet and never told her so that no matter what secretly I had already won the argument when it was happening.
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Postby Sarahohio » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:07 pm

met, dated, married and divorced a b9er
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:08 pm

fred durst wrote:peed on her feet and never told her so that no matter what secretly I had already won the argument when it was happening.

my contribution: me and my girlfriend watching this happening behind a peephole
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Postby Fester » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:14 pm

So when you say obscure sex...you're talking about partially visible people banging?


"I'm into obscure sex...kinda have to turn down my visibility before we can do stuff"
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:22 pm

Fester wrote:So when you say obscure sex...you're talking about partially visible people banging?


"I'm into obscure sex...kinda have to turn down my visibility before we can do stuff"

I like this one obscure kind of sex, you probably have never heard of them
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Postby Lil Meatsauce » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:32 pm

i took her to my family bungalow a few years back and well...you guys know how it goes =)
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Postby half idiot » Thu Aug 10, 2017 5:03 pm

she was deepthroating too hard and threw up all over my dick

i was into it
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Postby half idiot » Thu Aug 10, 2017 5:04 pm

then she cheated on me with her 43 year old coworker.

she was 20 at the time.
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Postby taylorm » Thu Aug 10, 2017 5:16 pm

half Cornell graduate wrote:then she cheated on me with her 43 year old coworker.

she was 20 at the time.

Hot.
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Postby jesse. » Thu Aug 10, 2017 5:20 pm

bluebyyou wrote:Or vice versa.

This could be interesting, mental outbursts? Obscure sex? Whatever.


hey are you ok? for real
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Postby Fester » Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:41 pm

Pillow got pregnant. Congratulations!
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Postby !azzip » Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:50 pm

Got super heavy into danger play
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Postby nerd eater » Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:51 pm

turkitron wrote:Dry humped. She was scared to get pregnant so we dry humped pillows in the same bed and pretended it was each other. Well she was in bed, I was on the floor. And she made me wear a condom.

Quoting for posterity
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Postby The Toxic Avenger » Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:54 pm

when i was 16 i stole a car to pick up a girl who ran away from home and took a greyhound across three states to live happily ever after with me and my best friend knocked her up and they started dating but i kept fucking her anyway
Last edited by The Toxic Avenger on Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby The Toxic Avenger » Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:54 pm

thats kinda for not to a s/o i guess
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Postby Anti-todo » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:16 pm

Before I started dating my last ex for the second time, we always had to sneak around because after the first break up, her friends hated me and my friends hated her. Ton of times that involved me picking her up and driving somewhere weird to fool around, every week for months. One time in particular, I picked her up around 10 PM to shoot hoops in a small town about an hour outside the city. Got to the park and there was a bunch of kids there, so we ended up driving around all night listening to all three Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark audio tapes. The sexual tension was crazy heavy (maybe not because of the scary stories, we were like animals for each other) so I pulled over in the parking lot of a sewage treatment plant and nature took it's course. Was always a wild time but that one stands out to me because of the hours of hilarious spooky stories beforehand. And it ended at a sewage treatment plant. I highly recommend those tapes, by the way.
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Postby righteous jad » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:43 pm

Overrode silent on her iPhone when I hadn't heard from her and was worried
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Postby rowdiedondown » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:43 pm

jesse. wrote:
bluebyyou wrote:Or vice versa.

This could be interesting, mental outbursts? Obscure sex? Whatever.


hey are you ok? for real


Are you okay, for real? Remember when you ban hammered that escort, just for like, posting on here? Fragile lil minds gives thanks
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Postby !azzip » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:46 pm

huh
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Postby futureworldcitizen » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:46 pm

One time me and my girl were sleeping on the top of a house boat (cause of star gazing of course) and my mom was there too cause it was a family trip... Well basically me and my girl got frisky and "did it" descreetly under the blanket. Turns out my mom was awake the whole time cause as soon as we finished she goes "aren't the stars beautiful?"
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Postby captainsunshine » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:51 pm

futureworldcitizen wrote:One time me and my girl were sleeping on the top of a house boat (cause of star gazing of course) and my mom was there too cause it was a family trip... Well basically me and my girl got frisky and "did it" descreetly under the blanket. Turns out my mom was awake the whole time cause as soon as we finished she goes "aren't the stars beautiful?"

:smt005
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Postby andydansby » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:58 pm

Thread of the year
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Postby taylorm » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:59 pm

futureworldcitizen wrote:One time me and my girl were sleeping on the top of a house boat (cause of star gazing of course) and my mom was there too cause it was a family trip... Well basically me and my girl got frisky and "did it" descreetly under the blanket. Turns out my mom was awake the whole time cause as soon as we finished she goes "aren't the stars beautiful?"

Yeah, thanks for this. :smt005
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Postby rowdiedondown » Thu Aug 10, 2017 10:13 pm

I bet those stars were fuckin beautiful
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Postby TodayWeLive » Thu Aug 10, 2017 10:48 pm

Craziest thing I've done to a significant other? Put it in her butt, I guess.
Anti-todo wrote:Before I started dating my last ex for the second time, we always had to sneak around because after the first break up, her friends hated me and my friends hated her. Ton of times that involved me picking her up and driving somewhere weird to fool around, every week for months. One time in particular, I picked her up around 10 PM to shoot hoops in a small town about an hour outside the city. Got to the park and there was a bunch of kids there, so we ended up driving around all night listening to all three Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark audio tapes. The sexual tension was crazy heavy (maybe not because of the scary stories, we were like animals for each other) so I pulled over in the parking lot of a sewage treatment plant and nature took it's course. Was always a wild time but that one stands out to me because of the hours of hilarious spooky stories beforehand. And it ended at a sewage treatment plant. I highly recommend those tapes, by the way.

Sewage treatment plant parking lot? I probably would have held out for somewhere else, or maybe used hands to please each other while driving. :smt001

futureworldcitizen wrote:One time me and my girl were sleeping on the top of a house boat (cause of star gazing of course) and my mom was there too cause it was a family trip... Well basically me and my girl got frisky and "did it" descreetly under the blanket. Turns out my mom was awake the whole time cause as soon as we finished she goes "aren't the stars beautiful?"

I'm glad something that embarrassing has never happened to me. Yikes!
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Postby brah_life » Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:59 am

I have one about a lady friend I was seeing a few years back- we were going to the casino and she started playing with junior, I'm stoned as we just smoked so I decided to pull off one of the exits. We drive down a few streets and I pull my car off to the side of a huge field, it's like midnight and pitch black. We hit the back seat, have something between "finally we can do this" and a "hatefuck"- it was pretty pretty good. Now we're cleaning up and heading back to the highway and I notice her hair and makeup were a mess. I just remember walking through the casino, catching all kinds of eyes and thinking "please don't see anyone you know..." It was a weird/ awesome/ random night, I think I won $150 on a slot too.
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Postby bluebyyou » Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:11 am

jesse. wrote:
bluebyyou wrote:Or vice versa.

This could be interesting, mental outbursts? Obscure sex? Whatever.


hey are you ok? for real



I think so - mostly.

work has been boring this has been entertaining.

Are you ok?
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Postby !azzip » Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:35 am

feminine weirdo and nerd wrote:I have one about a lady friend I was seeing a few years back- we were going to the casino and she started playing with junior, I'm stoned as we just smoked so I decided to pull off one of the exits. We drive down a few streets and I pull my car off to the side of a huge field, it's like midnight and pitch black. We hit the back seat, have something between "finally we can do this" and a "hatefuck"- it was pretty pretty good. Now we're cleaning up and heading back to the highway and I notice her hair and makeup were a mess. I just remember walking through the casino, catching all kinds of eyes and thinking "please don't see anyone you know..." It was a weird/ awesome/ random night, I think I won $150 on a slot too.

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Postby rowdiedondown » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:12 am

Hahahaha
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Postby macho insecurity » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:13 am

lol @ thinking any drunk in a casino gives enough of a shit about you to care that you just banged your wretched twink of a lady slink in the back of your pt cruiser.
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Postby Sorley Boy » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:14 am

!azzip wrote:Got super heavy into danger play


Milf does not respect crossing rules. Halfway through black professor with braids knocks on the door.
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Postby junglejamz » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:16 am

nothing cause i respect women, you'll cowards
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Postby 198d__ » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:47 am

this thread is very weird. i hate it.
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Postby Yosupbro » Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:52 am

why do NFL players smoke weed if there are rules? wrote:lol @ thinking any drunk in a casino gives enough of a shit about you to care that you just banged your wretched twink of a lady slink in the back of your pt cruiser.

:smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005
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Postby Clit Boner » Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:00 am

Fester wrote:Shit on her dick


I told you to not tell anybody, We're through!
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Postby bluebyyou » Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:07 am

junglejamz wrote:nothing cause i respect women, you'll cowards


what does that have to do with anything? this is subjective - it's the internet, you are taking it too seriously.


Also no one asked what was the most disrespectful thing you have ever done to a woman OR man.

get your mind out of the gutter.

geeeeez.
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Postby jesse. » Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:09 am

rowdiedondown wrote:
jesse. wrote:
bluebyyou wrote:Or vice versa.

This could be interesting, mental outbursts? Obscure sex? Whatever.


hey are you ok? for real


Are you okay, for real? Remember when you ban hammered that escort, just for like, posting on here? Fragile lil minds gives thanks

what the fuck are you talking about
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Postby bluebyyou » Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:09 am

andydansby wrote:Hid her keys inside my bungalow during a fight



this has happened to me, did she find them?
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Postby bluebyyou » Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:10 am

turkitron wrote:Dry humped. She was scared to get pregnant so we dry humped pillows in the same bed and pretended it was each other. Well she was in bed, I was on the floor. And she made me wear a condom.



for real?
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