tinder stories

General discussion, shows, and everything else.

Postby LET US PRAY » Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:37 pm

some girl just messaged me with a fedora saying she was feeling naughty :smt004
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Postby junglejamz » Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:39 pm

did u cum?
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Postby terminalnation » Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:41 pm

junglejamz wrote:did u cum?
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Postby LET US PRAY » Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:41 pm

i came
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Postby gregor samsa » Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:42 pm

thread sent
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Postby sometimesnewjersey » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:06 pm

I have a pretty hilarious tinder story that I will post. So this is my i have the weirdest boner right now
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Postby sometimesnewjersey » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:09 pm

awesome word filter
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Postby junglejamz » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:11 pm

I have failed so hard at this app. I message girls and get straight shut down.
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Postby 9999dmg » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:14 pm

You're prolly ugly.
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Postby terminalnation » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:14 pm

junglejamz wrote:I have failed so hard at this app. I message girls and get straight shut down.


"Yo gurl I wanna suck on your toes and you can eat my cummmm and after ill take you out for burgers with my barberin money"
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Postby LET US PRAY » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:14 pm

it's all about numbers. i seriously like every girl then unmatch some goblins that snuck through and message em all. haven't gotten laid but made out with three girls this week and planted some proverbial seeds
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Postby junglejamz » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:16 pm

9999dmg wrote:You're prolly ugly.

Tell me something I don't know
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Postby 9999dmg » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:16 pm

junglejamz wrote:
9999dmg wrote:You're prolly ugly.

Tell me something I don't know

I open mouth kissed a horse once.
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Postby junglejamz » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:17 pm

9999dmg wrote:
junglejamz wrote:
9999dmg wrote:You're prolly ugly.

Tell me something I don't know

I open mouth kissed a horse once.

picz?
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Postby 9999dmg » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:18 pm

Stop talking like that.
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Postby junglejamz » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:21 pm

smh
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Postby former ghost » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:33 pm

I've only met one woman from this, and I've used it off and on for a while. She acted really really into me on the first date and then just kinda flaked on ever going out again. I got stood up by another woman the week before that.

Most of the time I just get blocked immediately, or they never respond to my message. Or say they want to go out and then ignore me.

Still, I would actually say this is the best of the online dating sites. Not actually a site but you know what I mean.
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Postby The Toxic Avenger » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:44 pm

I have literally only had one match on this app. :(
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Postby a_story_at_III » Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:48 pm

I haven't had any luck with this app. whatsoever.
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Postby killedbydeath » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:46 am

I think Tinder is dying. There are more girls than ever on there but I think they are all either fake profiles or inactive profiles. Fuck this thing.
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Postby degradation » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:53 am

matched with a cute blonde, who seemed to look a lot like juliet from LOST.
chatted for a week or so, then decided to meet. she was no where near as pretty as her pics indicated, but she seemed nice and chill enough, so i agreed to hang again. we went to a planetarium and out for burgers next. on the highway, however, some dick blatantly cut me off and she starts dropping the n-bomb, yelling at the guy. like, real loud. hard "r" and everything.

i should have thrown her out of the car at that point, but i assumed maybe that was her sense of humor and she was kidding around? just really inappropriately joking? especially for a 1st official date...

so i keep driving, and some other dork cuts me off (it was raining, and you know what rain does to people when they drive). as soon as this fool gets next to us again, she starts berating him, and throwing the n-bomb around again. just fucking so wantonly. so i turn and look at her, and go "really?" :smt017

to which she replies "yeahhhh, i guess you should know that about me."

done.

have not called since.
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Postby ooGracie » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:59 am

Posting to hear juicy stories.
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Postby TerrorThatFlapsInTheNight » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:02 pm

I have slept with probably....10 women off here? A handful of which have been reoccurring things. Several of which I feel are out of my league. Just message girls. Say "hello" with a goofy face emoji. Talk to them to distract yourself and don't try and push things or come off like you're trying to bone. Everyone's trying to bone on there, it's pretty much implied, you don't need to be forward. Sometimes conversations die, just let them die and move on.

For your first couple of girls every time you go on, when in doubt, always swipe right. The first few are always girls who swiped right on you(if you've been on there for a few days). After that, be picky. You can still swipe right on like 100 girls it just takes longer, but if you actually swipe on ones that you're potentially compatible with/ones you're geninunely interested in then you'll match more often on people you might click with.

After like, a week(more or less depending on how well the conversation flows) say, "hey I like always forget this app exists, I might delete it. Could I text you?" Also, if you're in a band, post pictures of you playing shows. It's douchey but women(like men and like all humans) tend to be shallow/will create their own idealized image of you.

Happy tindering b9
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Postby uncledaddy69 » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:13 pm

I recently matched with a girl whose profile said she was looking for platonic friendships only. After exchanging snapchat usernames, she sent me a picture of her roommates dick.
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Postby TerrorThatFlapsInTheNight » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:20 pm

I have:

- fingered a girl while she was driving to completion
- gotten a blowjob that was discussed beforehand without exchanging a single word
- had heavy awesome bdsm sex with an awesome lady
- drove an hour and a half away to bang the hottest chick I probably ever will in my life 4 times in the span of 8 hours


All these on the first meetup, if you get a really strong strong vibe(be honest with yourself) that they're trying to get right down to biz, invite them over for netflix.

As always don't be a fucking creep, and also eat her ass(it's only polite, ask first tho)

Edit: this all being said I deleted it this morning actually. Got too much shit being juggled rn to add any more temptation
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Postby TerrorThatFlapsInTheNight » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:24 pm

And yeah I'm kinda bragging I don't give a fuck
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Postby degradation » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:25 pm

uncledaddy69 wrote:I recently matched with a girl whose profile said she was looking for platonic friendships only. After exchanging snapchat usernames, she sent me a picture of her roommates dick.

she is the one, brother.
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Postby xNameHatex » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:52 pm

degradation wrote:matched with a cute blonde, who seemed to look a lot like juliet from LOST.
chatted for a week or so, then decided to meet. she was no where near as pretty as her pics indicated, but she seemed nice and chill enough, so i agreed to hang again. we went to a planetarium and out for burgers next. on the highway, however, some dick blatantly cut me off and she starts dropping the n-bomb, yelling at the guy. like, real loud. hard "r" and everything.

i should have thrown her out of the car at that point, but i assumed maybe that was her sense of humor and she was kidding around? just really inappropriately joking? especially for a 1st official date...

so i keep driving, and some other dork cuts me off (it was raining, and you know what rain does to people when they drive). as soon as this fool gets next to us again, she starts berating him, and throwing the n-bomb around again. just fucking so wantonly. so i turn and look at her, and go "really?" :smt017

to which she replies "yeahhhh, i guess you should know that about me."

done.

have not called since.


:smt042 I thought racism like that only existed on youtube comments and in the deep deep south.
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Postby captainsunshine » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:56 pm

met and fooled around a couple times with one chick off of there who was a little younger than me. we both connected from both being in "recovery" but it just was not gonna last, plus I think she was still using AND talking to some ex. the whole thing ended very non-excitingly which I was very fucking thankful for.
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Postby captainsunshine » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:58 pm

tinder def seems already dated like someone else said. When I activate it and scroll around, it is mainly to kill some time. since I am close-ish to Berkeley, Oakland and SF (if I make the preferences set far enough) there is never a small supply of profiles to look at.
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Postby Jeremey » Fri Jul 11, 2014 1:01 pm

junglejamz wrote:I message girls and get straight shut down.


Never tried this app since I know that is all that would happen
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Postby killedbydeath » Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:55 pm

the only time i have had a girl come straight over from this app (most of the time i meet them at a bar or something, they seem to feel more comfortable and i don't really need more psycho hosebeasts knowing where i live) was awesome and gnarly at the same time.

she comes straight over, i have wine so we are drinking and we have a lot in common (surf, both speak spanish, both lived in mexico, etc) and she is pretty cute. but we start hooking up and before we know it we are naked on my couch and i am fingering her and she starts squirting fucking everywhere. i've seen little squirts before but this is like constant super soaker status. like ten times on my couch. we go to my bed, it doesn't stop. it was really rad at the time but i had to cover my bed in towels just to sleep on it and my couch and floor and everything was soaked. cleanup the next day was a bitch. that being said, to this point, it was all cool and we were both stoked.

she then wanted to hang out the next day (turns out she is friends with my boss and his wife) she invites herself over when i am already trying to sleep. we have really boring tired sex and i try to pass out but she is like a really agressive cuddler and i can't sleep. she gets all pissed i won't cuddle and storms out. a week later she gets drunk with my boss and his wife and proceeds to tell them how i am such an asshole for what i did to her and that i wouldn't even cuddle her after having tinder sex (she also leaves out the part where she ruined my apartment and invited herself over a second time). my boss thinks she's crazy, his wife thinks i'm an asshole.

outside of this my other tinder hook ups have been pretty standard. meet, have sex, do it a bunch for a few weeks and then things just kind of fizzle out.

i had great luck for a few months but the last few months i haven't matched with anyone that i am interested in. this leads me to believe that tinder is dying and that they are flooding it with fake profiles or using girl's profiles after they delete the app.
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Postby killedbydeath » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:16 pm

also been getting some pretty good nudes and some steamy text messages, in exchange for dick pics of course, from girls that I don't think I really want to meet up with for various reasons. one of them i feel is much different looking in real life than her pictures make her out to be and she i far away, and the other i think only has pictures that are like 8 or 9 years old on there. great fun for jerking off and i think it works well for all parties.
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Postby uncledaddy69 » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:56 pm

killedbydeath wrote:but we start hooking up and before we know it we are naked on my couch and i am fingering her and she starts squirting fucking everywhere. i've seen little squirts before but this is like constant super soaker status. like ten times on my couch. we go to my bed, it doesn't stop. it was really rad at the time but i had to cover my bed in towels just to sleep on it and my couch and floor and everything was soaked.

God damn I am so jealous of this part.
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Postby killedbydeath » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:59 pm

uncledaddy69 wrote:
killedbydeath wrote:but we start hooking up and before we know it we are naked on my couch and i am fingering her and she starts squirting fucking everywhere. i've seen little squirts before but this is like constant super soaker status. like ten times on my couch. we go to my bed, it doesn't stop. it was really rad at the time but i had to cover my bed in towels just to sleep on it and my couch and floor and everything was soaked.

God damn I am so jealous of this part.

it was awesome at the time but i have to say i was pretty disgusted afterwards. i was like 'i am sitting in my apartment that is absolutely soiled with the bodily fluids of a complete stranger. there isn't even anywhere I can go to feel clean.'
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Postby Avoidance Learning » Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:03 pm

met a girl from it. i bought her a burrito, she bought be a beer, she blew me and we never spoke about it again.
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Postby topo » Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:13 pm

tinder is pretty much the same thing as badoo right?
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Postby brenton » Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:13 pm

fred durst wrote:met a girl from it. i bought her a burrito, she bought be a beer, she blew me and we never spoke about it again.


and i thought romance was dead
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Postby bufo alvarius » Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:20 pm

one of my dates got blacked out and was doing coke and pulled out her titty in the photobooth and was knocking drinks out of strangers hands and off the bar.
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Postby killedbydeath » Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:23 pm

fred durst wrote:met a girl from it. i bought her a burrito, she bought be a beer, she blew me and we never spoke about it again.

met a girl and we each had a slice of pizza. each had a beer. out the door at $20. we went back to my place and had sex. then she left to go pick up a drunk friend and i went to the bars with my boys.

the sex was kind of bland though but whatever. probably worse for her than me. we haven't spoken to each other since.
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Postby uncledaddy69 » Sun Jul 13, 2014 9:37 am

bufo alvarius wrote:one of my dates got blacked out and was doing coke and pulled out her titty in the photobooth and was knocking drinks out of strangers hands and off the bar.

Holy shit
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Postby iamcomo » Sun Jul 13, 2014 10:06 am

have met/banged several girls

one showed up to this house show i threw in my basement. we both knew it and didn't talk to each other.
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Postby killedbydeath » Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:00 pm

bufo alvarius wrote:one of my dates got blacked out and was doing coke and pulled out her titty in the photobooth and was knocking drinks out of strangers hands and off the bar.

winner!!!

one of my dates went out of her way to say that she never wanted to get married or have kids like a few minutes after meetiing me at a restaurant. i thought it was a bit weird for her to be so forward right off the bat but whatever i guess.

a few weeks later she starts telling me that she wants to lock me down and that she has fallen really hard for me and that if we just get married i will be able to fly all around the world for free (flight attendant) and that she has a great benefit and 401K package. then she tells me a few weeks later that we can't talk anymore because she is getting ready to settle down with her ex boyfriend and it is just really what she is looking for at this point in her life and she can't break her heart anymore by seeing me when it's not what i want. what in the holy fuck?
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Postby FourtyFour » Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:07 pm

some girl on tinder just asked me to accompany her to get her first tattoo
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Postby bufo alvarius » Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:08 pm

sounds like you're actually the winner.
i hate commitmentPLEASEMARRYME
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Postby trentxedge » Tue Jul 15, 2014 6:48 pm

I think it's hilarious that this app is the land of extremes, either it goes really really awesome or really really horribly. Makes me even more excited for when I finally hang out with someone off of this app.
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Postby Sernogath » Tue Jul 15, 2014 7:17 pm

TerrorThatFlapsInTheNight wrote:I fingered a girl while she was driving to completion

teach me your ways
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Postby captainsunshine » Tue Jul 15, 2014 8:36 pm

topo wrote:tinder is pretty much the same thing as badoo right?

badu?
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Postby heely » Tue Jul 15, 2014 8:40 pm

Everytime I try to sign up it never sends my verification code.
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Postby killedbydeath » Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:46 am

haha a girl that i thought was super hot gave me her number. she seemed cool and had a rad style but all her pictures were from strange angles or just of her face so i was a bit skeptical. anyways, i texted her and immediately she sent me a full body selfie of her in a mirror in a thrift store with text that read 'what do you think?'... she was def bigger than her tinder pics made her seem so i had no idea what to think. she then immediately texts me 'OMG!!! i am so embarrassed that was for my mom!"

haha she totally outed herself on trying to ride dirty with her tinder pics. she is still really pretty and it seems like we have a lot in common so i am going to hang out with her regardless. i'll keep you posted.
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