so i live next to a giant ass pool (ruining a swim meet cont

General discussion, shows, and everything else.

Postby xpheenyx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:03 am

i live right next to this big ass motherfuckin' pool. it's olympic size and shit. Scottsboro could have potentially held olympic trials here but the city didnt have enough money to dig the pool as deep as it needed to be even though the deep end is like 24 feet...

point of the story, the god damn swim meets at this thing are ridiculous. the facility hardly has enough parking, so people think that it's alright to park out in front of my private residence like i don't give a fuck... this happened yesterday, and when i got off from work, to my surprise i couldn't get into my own fucking driveway because of the line of full size SUV's in front of my house, and people were walking through my yard like they owned it.

i was thinking of what i could fucking do just to ruin these people's day.... then i thought about it... and all these swim meets lead up to one tri county, fucking beyond massive event. literally there were 6,000 people directly next to my house last year....

here's the plan. find out when the tri-county swim meet thing is. then the night before sneak into the facility (this is a whole lot easier than it seems, i do it a lot to swim for free, you just pull up the fence and crawl under and walk inside the giant ass wall they take down in the summer) and then i'm gonna take some laxatives and take a massive shit in that motherfucker. because then they can't swim... potentially for days because the pool is so giant, bacteria would be everywhere and they'd have to drain it and all that good shit.

what do you think b9? worth it? i think so.
xpheenyx
 
Posts: 2376
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:20 pm
Location: North Alabama

Postby Bawitdaba » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:04 am

do it
User avatar
Bawitdaba
 
Posts: 15939
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 5:06 pm
Location: Baltimore

Postby xpheenyx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:10 am

dick hamper wrote:do it

glad i have your support.
xpheenyx
 
Posts: 2376
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:20 pm
Location: North Alabama

Postby Tell 'Em Steve Dave » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:11 am

dick hamper wrote:do it
User avatar
Tell 'Em Steve Dave
 
Posts: 10099
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 9:16 am
Location: Blashyrkh California, :smt024

Postby Bawitdaba » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:12 am

either that of buy about 3 dozen live crabs and release them
User avatar
Bawitdaba
 
Posts: 15939
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 5:06 pm
Location: Baltimore

Postby Fuck off. » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:13 am

Or you could have got their SUVs towed, but pooping is a good idea too.
User avatar
Fuck off.
 
Posts: 13151
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2008 9:49 am
Location: Your basement

Postby xpheenyx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:15 am

hell0 wrote:Or you could have got their SUVs towed, but pooping is a good idea too.


that's the great thing.... ive tried this, but seriously the only people that give a fuck is the people whos car just got towed..... ive literally seen someone sitting there waiting for a car to be towed so they could park up in my shit. honestly these swimming faggots don't give a fuck.
xpheenyx
 
Posts: 2376
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:20 pm
Location: North Alabama

Postby Armstrong Dicksmasher » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:15 am

hell0 wrote:Or you could have got their SUVs towed, but pooping is a good idea too.


Why not be a genius and do BOTH? That will surely fuck their shit up.
Armstrong Dicksmasher
 
Posts: 5245
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 2:00 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby xpheenyx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:16 am

dick hamper wrote:either that of buy about 3 dozen live crabs and release them


thought about this. the crabs would die if they got into the water, and i'm not down for killin' animals homie. :smt010
xpheenyx
 
Posts: 2376
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:20 pm
Location: North Alabama

Postby Matt Even » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:17 am

I fully back dropping a dook in the pool.
Matt Even
 
Posts: 8076
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:22 pm
Location: The land of Cleve

Postby Bawitdaba » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:19 am

xpheenyx wrote:
dick hamper wrote:either that of buy about 3 dozen live crabs and release them


thought about this. the crabs would die if they got into the water, and i'm not down for killin' animals homie. :smt010

so to your pet store and buy frozen dead mice. they'll enjoy them
User avatar
Bawitdaba
 
Posts: 15939
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 5:06 pm
Location: Baltimore

Postby Armstrong Dicksmasher » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:19 am

xpheenyx wrote:
hell0 wrote:Or you could have got their SUVs towed, but pooping is a good idea too.


that's the great thing.... ive tried this, but seriously the only people that give a fuck is the people whos car just got towed..... ive literally seen someone sitting there waiting for a car to be towed so they could park up in my shit. honestly these swimming faggots don't give a fuck.


Put up a really big fucking sign with a warning and maybe put those orange cones around the space they park.
Armstrong Dicksmasher
 
Posts: 5245
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 2:00 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby Fuck off. » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:19 am

Somehow save all your piss, jizz and poop from now until then. Then release that into the pool.
User avatar
Fuck off.
 
Posts: 13151
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2008 9:49 am
Location: Your basement

Postby justinmilwaukee » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:20 am

definitely shit in the pool
justinmilwaukee
 
Posts: 4092
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:44 am
Location: Milwaukee, WI

Postby aaronxvx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:21 am

I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.
aaronxvx
 
Posts: 4158
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:27 am
Location: Richmond, VA.

Postby DILLON! » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:25 am

aaronxvx wrote:I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

:smt017
DILLON!
C.O.B.
 
Posts: 5846
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 11:59 am
Location: The Field Of Kings, Maine

Postby Bawitdaba » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:25 am

you need to get crabs, mice, shit, piss, jizz, and the blood of 13 virgins
User avatar
Bawitdaba
 
Posts: 15939
Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 5:06 pm
Location: Baltimore

Postby jasperscalpelthrow » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:25 am

Just chill outside your house like this guy:
Image
User avatar
jasperscalpelthrow
 
Posts: 3444
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:16 pm
Location: Portland, Maine

Postby dudeman » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:29 am

find the ugliest hooker in town and tell she is needed for a pool gangbang. get her to wait in the pool naked until all the customers show up.
dudeman
 
Posts: 16237
Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2006 12:47 pm
Location: a monastery above the clouds atop of a mountain

Postby blackapache » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:29 am

Shit on the diving board. Recruit a few friends to plant strategic doogs around the pool.
User avatar
blackapache
 
Posts: 5688
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:00 am
Location: Richmond, Va

Postby Party Foul » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:29 am

money says you shit yourself while ducking under the fence... now that would be a story

"tried to ruin this tri-county swim meet, accidentally shit my pants"
User avatar
Party Foul
SPIN-KICK REVIVALIST
 
Posts: 7274
Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:10 pm
Location: Framingham, ma

Postby theonefreeman » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:32 am

Shitting seems like a great idea. I'd say that you should start building up a massive stockpile of dook right now and save it for the next meet. It would suck if there you were, squatting with your ass hanging over the pool and you're doing the Hershey-squirts all over the place, when all of a sudden security arrives. You take off for your house, unknowing to the fact that you're leaving a trail of doodoo butter straight to you. Then they'd know where you live. What would you do then?

FOR YOUR HEALTH
User avatar
theonefreeman
for your fucking health
 
Posts: 8815
Joined: Mon Jun 01, 2009 1:35 pm
Location: East Lansing, Michigan

Postby eeric » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:34 am

thread sent to head lifeguard
User avatar
eeric
 
Posts: 3628
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 11:58 am
Location: wild 100's

Postby IamTravis » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:37 am

you wont do anything
IamTravis
 
Posts: 1081
Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 5:35 pm
Location: Fargo, ND

Postby JERSEYJRS » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:37 am

in hopes of some funny shit happening in a few months time
JERSEYJRS
 
Posts: 1404
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:54 pm
Location: Fay'Nam, NC

Postby David and Keith » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:40 am

dick hamper wrote:you need to get crabs, mice, shit, piss, jizz, and the blood of 13 virgins
David and Keith
 
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 11:46 am
Location: Funeral Parlor in Mass.

Postby the Walking Dead » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:41 am

Somehow try and give yourself diarreha and than shit in the pool. No motherfuckers will be going in there.
the Walking Dead
 
Posts: 1960
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:12 pm
Location: Boston :smt074

Postby xbradicalx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:43 am

:smt022 :smt022 :smt022
I can't park and people walk on my lawn
:smt022 :smt022 :smt022
User avatar
xbradicalx
Long Dong Hogarth
 
Posts: 32407
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2003 3:02 am
Location: Pretzel City

Postby HeinousJoe » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:44 am

Shit in the pool
And on the suv's
HeinousJoe
 
Posts: 5294
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:46 pm

Postby TRAV » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:46 am

If you're gonna take laxatives and shit in the pool, then you might as well get real fancy and drink some ipecac too, and throw the fuck up in there with your shit.
TRAV
 
Posts: 1986
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 3:43 pm
Location: DenCO

Postby eeric » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:51 am

xbradicalx wrote::smt022 :smt022 :smt022
I can't park and people walk on my lawn
:smt022 :smt022 :smt022



:smt043
User avatar
eeric
 
Posts: 3628
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 11:58 am
Location: wild 100's

Postby f-ass45 » Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:59 am

Why in the pool? Why not around the pool, then the smell and the run off from the diarea will be stuck in the grass.

I also like something with jello.
f-ass45
 
Posts: 720
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:48 am
Location: New Jersey

Postby Tell 'Em Steve Dave » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:11 am

eat a bunch of taco bell. those shits would have that pool closed down for weeks.
User avatar
Tell 'Em Steve Dave
 
Posts: 10099
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 9:16 am
Location: Blashyrkh California, :smt024

Postby CycoFishHead » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:17 am

xbradicalx wrote::smt022 :smt022 :smt022
I can't park and people walk on my lawn
:smt022 :smt022 :smt022


People complain about much stupider shit on here all the time.

"Someone asked me a stupid question at my job. :smt013 "
User avatar
CycoFishHead
 
Posts: 10117
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:01 pm
Location: MA

Postby xbradicalx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:20 am

but i'm sure most of those people deal with it like adults.
User avatar
xbradicalx
Long Dong Hogarth
 
Posts: 32407
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2003 3:02 am
Location: Pretzel City

Postby peteXnasty » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:22 am

Id be heated if I owned property and strangers just treated it like public land over something as dumb as a stupid swimming pool. Doubly so if they blocked my car in my driveway. What if I need to work?

Contaminate the fuck out of the pool and just sit outside with a cell phone towing every car that parks illegally.
peteXnasty
TOWZONE
 
Posts: 3343
Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 11:44 pm
Location: providence RI

Postby aaronxvx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:25 am

DILLON! wrote:
aaronxvx wrote:I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

:smt017


..what don't you understand?
aaronxvx
 
Posts: 4158
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:27 am
Location: Richmond, VA.

Postby cobralucha » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:26 am

As a lifeguard I have some serious info on the subject.

You MUST make sure the poop is liquid. A solid turd get scooped up, chlorine gets cranked and in 20-40 minutes all is well. Diarrhea involves not only skimming the gunk out but the Chlorine needs to be cranked for anywhere from 12-36 HOURS before people can get back in.

Good luck homie.
cobralucha
I AM NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE
 
Posts: 5283
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:40 pm
Location: NYC

Postby Doug_LongIsland » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:30 am

This has awesome fucking potential.
Doug_LongIsland
 
Posts: 2847
Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:26 am
Location: LONGISLAND

Postby cobralucha » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:31 am

aaronxvx wrote:
DILLON! wrote:
aaronxvx wrote:I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

:smt017


..what don't you understand?


Look at my post above this. I manage a pool. Pee is mostly sterile and involves no serious clean up. Chlorine is really only for keeping algae and stuff out of the pool and for sanitizing the microscopic amounts of poop/sweat/vomit that people bring into the pool on their skin/ clothes/ hair. A big diarrhea turd is no match for the little chlorine molecules.
cobralucha
I AM NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE
 
Posts: 5283
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:40 pm
Location: NYC

Postby xchocolatesensationx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:33 am

cobralucha wrote:As a lifeguard I have some serious info on the subject.

You MUST make sure the poop is liquid. A solid turd get scooped up, chlorine gets cranked and in 20-40 minutes all is well. Diarrhea involves not only skimming the gunk out but the Chlorine needs to be cranked for anywhere from 12-36 HOURS before people can get back in.

Good luck homie.


i can honestly tell you from lifeguarding so long that this is the best way to go.
User avatar
xchocolatesensationx
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
 
Posts: 12588
Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2004 10:18 pm
Location: badstreet USA

Postby Armstrong Dicksmasher » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:34 am

cobralucha wrote:As a lifeguard I have some serious info on the subject.

You MUST make sure the poop is liquid. A solid turd get scooped up, chlorine gets cranked and in 20-40 minutes all is well. Diarrhea involves not only skimming the gunk out but the Chlorine needs to be cranked for anywhere from 12-36 HOURS before people can get back in.

Good luck homie.


Holy shit! Dropping the pool knowledge on this thread :smt028
Armstrong Dicksmasher
 
Posts: 5245
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 2:00 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Postby the Drip » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:38 am

My friends condo has a pool, and I was over there sipping a beer when the resident pool narc flipped out and said "please get that glass bottle out of here, if it breaks in the pool, we have to drain it according to state law"
So smash some beer bottles and dump the glass in the deep end, problem solved
User avatar
the Drip
 
Posts: 1172
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2004 9:55 am
Location: heavy metal vomit party

Postby jimmieXXX » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:39 am

throw a baby ruth in the pool

and it should clear everyone out , unless caddyshack was lying
jimmieXXX
 
Posts: 8430
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:24 am
Location: The South

Postby sickpeople » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:41 am

im sure it sucks to have all those dickheads parking in front of your house
but you will ruin a bunch of little kids' summers by fucking with the pool.
tough decision.
sickpeople
 
Posts: 1211
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 10:21 pm
Location: philadelphia, pa

Postby aaronxvx » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:46 am

cobralucha wrote:
aaronxvx wrote:
DILLON! wrote:
aaronxvx wrote:I can't see a shit in the water causing a big deal at all, kids piss and shit in pools all the time.

That's why they have Chlorine.

:smt017


..what don't you understand?


Look at my post above this. I manage a pool. Pee is mostly sterile and involves no serious clean up. Chlorine is really only for keeping algae and stuff out of the pool and for sanitizing the microscopic amounts of poop/sweat/vomit that people bring into the pool on their skin/ clothes/ hair. A big diarrhea turd is no match for the little chlorine molecules.


Ah I didn't see that.

Carry on as normal..
aaronxvx
 
Posts: 4158
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:27 am
Location: Richmond, VA.

Postby American Vultures » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:47 am

absolutely do it
User avatar
American Vultures
 
Posts: 8564
Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:25 pm
Location: Steamrollin' chumps

Postby ky » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:47 am

if i remember correctly, not that many people show up to that meet. definitely not 6,000 people.
ky
 
Posts: 7250
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:30 am
Location: Georgia

Postby heartskull » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:47 am

Image
Image

this was all i could picture while reading this. also, great idea. i back the hoarding the bodily fluids idea, as well as the induced vomiting into the pool.
heartskull
 
Posts: 1426
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 5:46 pm
Location: Sacramento, CA

Postby Armstrong Dicksmasher » Fri Jul 09, 2010 9:49 am

Here is something potentially worse than shit, what if you bought a bucket of fish from a market and just let it ferment into some sort of abomination unto the senses and then tipped the bucket into the pool?
Armstrong Dicksmasher
 
Posts: 5245
Joined: Thu May 13, 2010 2:00 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Next


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: BeGone, bufo alvarius, Can't Waste Death, cavity., Classic, Cryinheart, CTHC13, Daytona 500, dazprospect, Frozendirt, goodmemory, Google Adsense [Bot], Heathenist, I Am Justice, I Gave You Power, i need air, JamieFITA, JareDestroyer, jeremy habits, KashmirZ, madmatt, Manos15, Meatsauce, Mental Death, Metalfaced_DOOM, Mighty Professional, Ok Pal, philkelly, Pruppet, RazorWristedKid, redstarohyeah, refill, Safety in Numbers, terminalnation, uncledaddy69, xgorex, Yahoo [Bot] and 55 guests